STAY WITH ME
I will follow you...
I'm laying in my bed looking at the ceiling with the stuffed guinea pig Brian bought me for my 16th birthday. It looks exactly like my real guinea pig named Peanuts. When he bought it, he didn't even know I had a guinea pig. How bizarre is that?
I am not even 17 yet, and here I am pregnant for the second time. This time I can't say I didn't know it could happen. We almost guaranteed it happening again by having sex without any condoms and not even making an attempt to stop it. It didn't seem stupid at the time, but I am definitely questioning our reasoning now.
I am exactly four months older than I was the last time I got pregnant and I feel like mentally, I'm about 5 years older. So much has happened since then. My relationship with Brian is so different. I'm not scared that he is going to stop loving me because I'm pregnant. And, let me tell you, it is a huge relief.
He doesn't even seem very upset. Maybe he is in shock that I could really be pregnant again so soon. I can't be sure, but I am so grateful for the stability he has. No matter how hard I lean on him, he doesn't waiver. I know there are not too many boys at school who are as caring as he is.
You're not shy, you get around
You wanna fly, don't want your feet on the ground
You stay up, you won't come down
You wanna live, you wanna move to the sound
Got fire, in your veins, burnin' hot, but you don't feel the
Your desire, is insane, you can't stop, until you do it again
I can't wait until he calls me tonight. I want to know what is really going on in his head. He had football practice after school and then he will go home and eat dinner. He usually calls around 8:00 p.m. after he is done with his homework.
One thing for sure is I am keeping this baby. I know I got pregnant in September which means the baby will be due in June some time. I can still graduate. It will be humiliating being pregnant my whole senior year but it's better than not graduating like my mom did.
Maybe I was destined to have a baby young like her. I definitely get pregnant easy and I believe there are things you just can't fight about your future. At least I know Brian and I were planning on getting married anyway. He writes it in my notes all the time. He already has asked me to be his wife. He even writes on my notes: "To my wife."
I never expected him to feel as strongly about me as I do about him. It all happened so fast once we started seeing each other every day at school. I know he means it too. When I come walking towards him in the hallway and he doesn't see me, the moment he locks eyes with me, his whole face lights up.
No one has ever looked at me the way he does.
No one has ever touched me the way he does.
No one has ever told me they loved me before.