"The things I do for love," he said with loathing.
Jaime was talking about how he just pushed a small kid off a very high wall, because he saw him having sex with his sister. Was he being serious or sarcastic? Probably a little of both.
After I read this line, it made me think -- What have I done for love? A lot of things we do for love because we are "in love" at the time, then we look back and resent it because we think the other person didn't appreciate it.
But, that's not the case here. She doesn't have to thank him. He knows.
I think the key is to do everything for love, not for the other person to notice or even thank you for it and, especially not expecting it, but just because YOU love them. No easy task. We want to be thanked and appreciated ALL THE TIME.
Remember the Meatloaf song:
"I will do anything for love, but I won't do that..."
Do you have a "that?" I think it's better to make lists of what we have done for love with no regrets. There are things we have all done which resulted in no "thank you's, "no appreciation" and yet we would do it again, because we know we did it for love.
There's no doubt Jaime loves his sister. He is stating the obvious. He pushed the kid off the wall, because having someone know what he was doing to her was not going to hurt him as much as it would hurt her.
How do I know? Because I have a brother. There is no stronger bond. I can say that even with having children and grandchildren. He is the ONE person who knows me better than anyone.
I know what I would do for him and I know what he would do for me.
"Nothing is fair," Jon said.
How many times have I said that to my kids???
I said it because I believed it to be so. I didn't think life treated me fairly, so why would it be any different for them? I'm a good mom; I need to prepare them for life. After a couple of years, I softened it a little.
"Life doesn't feel fair."
That's a little bit closer to the truth. Life doesn't feel fair. We look around us and see people who aren't sick who we think should be. Or, we see people who haven't really experienced any kind of trauma, the way we define it, and think that's not fair.
I have learned something amazing things these past couple of years. The biggest one being -- Life is more fair than we can even imagine.
There is nothing in your life you have experienced which you didn't get exactly what you wanted.
Right now, you are saying "No way. I've had experiences I did not want to go through." Well, I think I have too. But, it's not true. Just because it seems true, doesn't mean it is.
This time/space reality we are living is not only fair but perfectly fair. There is only one thing stopping you from getting exactly what you think you want. BELIEF. That's it.
You have to believe whatever it is you want is yours. Not "will be" or "in time." Right now! Believe it and it has no choice but to be yours.
If you think your life isn't fair, then it's because you believe that to be the case.
I can think back to things that have happened to me, good and bad, and I KNOW the only reasons they happened was because of my belief.
I'll give one quick example -- From the time I was a little girl, I wanted to be a cheerleader. My parents didn't let me cheer on the little league in our community like my friends did. It felt very unfair. But, I still wanted to be a cheerleader. I watched my friends and I practiced and practiced and practiced. Then, one day I got to try out for our junior high squad. I was up against all the girls who had been cheering for years. The thing is -- I had no doubts I was better than all of them. My jumps were better, my gymnastics was better and I was way more skilled at the cheers. I wasn't even nervous on try out day.
I found out I made it and I thought to myself, "of course I did." I wanted it, practiced for it and believed I belonged on that squad. The little girl inside of me knew it too.
If you want life to start feeling more fair, start going for it. Define what you want and then start going for it.
Oh, and while you are going for it -- BELIEVE it!!!
I'm reading this book right now too. It's amazing -- so far. I've only read one chapter and I can't put it down.
It's written by Kate Northrup. I couldn't figure out why her name sounded so familiar -- upon further examination, I found out her mom is an ob/gyn who used to be on Oprah all the time. This made me want to read it even more. I loved her mom.
Anyway, first assignment -- write your own money love story. I've been able to rewrite my past really well. I've made it my own rewarding story with me as the heroine. Now, she tells me to do it again, except with regards to money. Write my own love story and make it great. So -- here it goes:
Neither my mom or dad graduated from high school. My mom eventually got her diploma when I was in junior high and I remember watching her study for her GED test. She was thrilled when she passed. My dad worked in a union at Mack Trucks and never had to worry about a high school diploma.
I remember money always being a topic of conversation, but not in a good way. My brother and I learned very early on that money was something that came into the house once a week (Thursday) and we had to make it last until the following Thursday. I believe my dad did put money into a savings account, but we never really had knowledge of it.
My mom worked and her weekly pay check paid for the groceries. It was pretty simple and they were very honest about it. Money came in and was gone every week. We were allowed to spend it, just as long as we realized it needed to last seven whole days.
In my first marriage, Brian and I both worked and we were very financially independent. We worked on the money together and we always had money to spare. But after, the divorce, I was a single mom to three and then four children and money became extremely tight.
My second husband came along and basically saved me from welfare. He had lots of money but he never shared any information regarding it, so I never knew what we had. I had budgets I had to live by, but that was it. He had his own issues regarding money and it was all very confusing for me. During this time, money and I were on a kind of break, you would say.
Which leads to now... my second divorce... child support and alimony. I get money every month, but I don't work yet and I haven't worked in almost 20 years. Money and I are back together again, but we are still trying to work things out.
I want to love money again. I want to be financially free on my own. I want to buy whatever I want without ever thinking about my spending.
So... I guess it all comes down to this... money and I have had a rocky relationship. Loving each other again is going to take work on both our parts. I want it back in my life -- healthier, more committed, and it is trying to reach me the same way.
Nothing will work unless you do - Maya Angelou
“Let me give you some counsel, bastard,” Lannister said, “Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”
I just started reading Game of Thrones. I've read this passage at least 100 times in the last week. I can't get past it. Brilliant!!
What am I? In the words I have always described myself with - I am a victim of sexual abuse. That's what I used to say. I don't say it any more, but it defined me for a long time.
He says to armor yourself in it and it can never be used against you.
How can I make it a strength? I have. It is now my greatest strength and I wouldn't trade it for anything. That probably sounds weird because most people wouldn't say it. They would think it was a curse. But, that's only because they want it to be.
Why is it my greatest strength? Because it taught me more than anything I have ever been through how to think of someone other than myself. I always had the thought that if my dad was abusing me, he would leave my brother alone. I'm not sure why the thought was there, but it was. He never said anything about my brother, but for some reason I took it on to be some kind of sacrificial lamb.
No one asked me to. Maybe since I'm the oldest, it was just a natural instinct. I'm not sure. All I know is that it was the only thought that kept me sane during times when I could have easily been insane.
There were times when abuse was used against me -- especially when my father died. Everyone thought I would be happy he was no longer here. I wasn't allowed to grieve him. But, it was so far from the truth. I felt like he left me with no real answers to why he did it.
The good thing is I don't need his explanation anymore.
Because of him, I know what forgiveness is.
Because of him, men don't scare me.
Because of him, I had six children.
Because of him, I get to be a grandmother before I turn 50.
Because of him, I got to experience unconditional love at a very early age.
Because of him, I am strong.
Therefore, my greatest weakness IS my greatest strength.
I have been in a relationship for two years. We gave each other our phone passwords as soon as we made it official to avoid keeping things from each other.
One night I had a sudden urge to go through his phone. I had never done it before, and when I looked at his FB messages, I saw he had been exchanging inappropriate pictures with someone. I was shocked and angry, and it almost ended our relationship. He deleted and blocked this person, and I forgave him. We don't talk about it anymore. I haven't noticed any other red flags, but now, when he's asleep or goes somewhere and leaves his phone at home, just looking at it upsets. I'll put a pillow or a blanket over it so I can "forget" it's there. I don't know if I should take another peek to make sure he's staying on the straight and narrow, or if ignorance is bliss. What do you think? -
Reading this question was painful -- which is why I decided to write my own response. We have so many outlets -- FB, Twitter, Linked In, Instagram, etc. to connect us -- you can't possibly keep track of what your boyfriend/girlfriend are doing online. So what's the point here? I only see one option. Trust. But who are you trusting, you or him/her? I say you. If you are trustworthy, the only thing you can expect from other people is for them to be trustworthy. There is only a problem when you are not.
I know what you are saying -- but I didn't do anything -- he/she did. Maybe true, maybe not. Do you expect your boyfriend/girlfriend to be trustworthy? If not, why? It all comes down to what you expect. When you expect them to be trustworthy, wanting to pick up his/her phone will go away.
Look at it this way, you have two choices. You can either be a trusting person or a suspicious person. That's it. Pick one. Living the life of a suspicious person is not fun. I know what I am talking about. No matter how many times you feel you have been let down by people close to you for being too trusting, it is far better for you to be that way than to walk around thinking everyone is going to cheat on you.
You worry about you. Are you trustworthy? If yes, then that's it. That's your only job. You did not come here to make sure you pick only trustworthy people to be around. You will attract whoever YOU are. So, if you notice anything "suspicious," ask yourself - "Why did I notice this?" "What am I being untruthful about?"
Trust yourself first. Trusting others will then get easier.
Exactly. What do I want? I like to make lists of my wants and then go back and see which ones I've gotten. It works -- try it.
But here's the short list --
I want to be a successful writer - you know -- really successful. I can't even define what it means but when it happens, I'll know.
I want to be the best mother and grandmother I can be. This one I work on every day because it's always different. Sometimes I should pay lots of attention and other times I should let them figure stuff out on their own. It takes work to figure out what I need to do on any particular day.
I want to be a great wife. There I said it -- what does that mean? I have no idea. I've been married twice and feel like I haven't quite gotten it right.
That's it -- pretty simple and basic, but then again, if it were easy, I wouldn't still be trying...
Are you Joan or Peggy?
I'm a little of both. I want to be taken seriously as a writer, but I want to be sexy like Joan. That's what I thought the first time I watched it. Then, I watched it again and I realized something -- Peggy is sexy. Not in the way Joan is, because she doesn't think looking like Joan is what makes her sexy.
Sexy isn't cleavage, even though that can be sexy.
Sexy is being confident in whatever you are wearing.
Sexy is knowing who you are.
The question then becomes -- do you think you are smart and sexy?
Tough question for me because I'm not all that sure being a grandma, turning 50 this year and being heavier than I have ever been not pregnant is sexy.
But that is my problem. If I don't FEEL it, I can't BE it.
Women try to be helpful with other women, just like Joan thinks she is helping Peggy. Here's the thing -- Peggy doesn't need her help. Joan needs to think Peggy needs her help.
Who has the real problem - Joan. The only confidence she has at this point is looking good. She is jealous that Peggy is taken seriously and she is not.
Today my grandmother would have been 100. She worked in the fashion industry. She always tried to tell me what to wear to be more sexy. She also thought it mattered what I wore.
Now I understand -- she NEEDED to think I NEEDED her help.
I did. But not to tell me what to wear, but to tell me whatever I wear is sexy as long as I think it is.
Women feel the NEED to tell each other what to eat, wear, mother, etc. because we NEED to be NEEDED.
Thank you, Nana, now I know I did NEED you.
My name is Michelle. I have six children and 7 grandchildren. This blog is about what I have learned in my 52 years here. So far, it's this simple - I thought I needed to figure out everything - turns out I don't.